Vocabulary lesson
My 2° ESO (8th grade) students read Carl Sanburg's "Chicago" a few weeks ago. There were a lot of difficult words in the poem: hog, brawling, husky, freight, wanton, amid, crooked, etc. But for some reason, they all knew this one: WRECKING.
I came in like a wrecking ball...
I don't know whether to feel happy that my students learned a word from American pop-culture or to grimace at the fact that all of my 8th graders were well acquainted with the video of Miley Cyrus naked on a wrecking ball. The worst part is none of the teachers knew what they were referring to; they kept asking me to explain the pop-culture reference in front of the whole class.
Note to self, Amber: Try to stay in the loop as long as you can.
Winning the lottery over and over again
At mid-year seminar, I was talking to some of the grantees about our application essays and the moments we found out that we had been selected as Fulbright grantees. I recounted my glance at my e-mail while eating dinner at my Kraker kitchen table, not realizing that I was opening an e-mail that has marked my life forever.
Oddly enough, I was also in the kitchen (Perhaps I should hang out in my kitchen more often?) when my phone buzzed last April, notifying me that I had received the e-mail naming the Fulbright Renewals for 2013-2014. Once again, I opened an e-mail that meant a year of extraordinary experiences.
And then last week, at my dining room table, I received the next great news in my professional career: I was selected by the UNA-USA organization to serve as an Assistant Director in the Global Classrooms International Conference in New York City in May!
After dealing with the logistical headaches of expanding the Madrid program from 20 schools to 41 schools and spending hours preparing lessons and presentations and conference materials, I am going to get to see the full potential of the Global Classrooms program: 1,600 delegates from 22 countries, discussing serious world issues (in my room, Uses of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (Drones)). No big deal. Just AWESOME.
I honestly feel like I am winning the lottery over and over again. And I am so incredibly thankful.
The Women
When I came to Madrid last year, the biggest change was not adapting to a different eating schedule or speaking Spanish all of the time or using public transportation. To be honest, the element of life that I struggled with more than anything else was how to respond to all of the people who are begging, all of the people who are homeless, all of the people who have found themselves in the middle of this crisis without jobs.
What is my responsibility as a fellow human being? What is my responsibility as the hands and feet of Christ?
And the crowds asked him, “What then shall we do?” And he answered them, "Whoever has two tunics is to share with him who has none, and whoever
has food is to do likewise."
- Luke 3:10-11
Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed
by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation
of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and
you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and
you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you
came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did
we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when
did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?
- Matthew 25:34-40
Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.
- Proverbs 21:13
It seems so clear. GIVE. But, but, but...
The city of Madrid isn't like Hope College's campus, where I greet people I don't know and people hold the door for me when I am so far away that I feel like I have to run to thank them for it. No, I don't smile at the people on the street or strike up conversation with the person next to me on the metro. I've gotten so used to being in my own little world that I brush past the old couples shuffling along, not thinking of them as persons, but instead as obstacles.
Living in a city, you begin to see so many people as non-persons that it becomes easy to ignore the people who are begging in the same way. I don't have to give them anything if I don't see them.
Furthermore, the brokenness of this world provides us with hundreds of reasons to justify our actions: They could spend it on drugs. They could get a job if they really wanted to. I don't want to make them dependent. I can't help everyone. I'm not swimming in money.
This is an issue that I'm not sure I will ever feel like I fully understand. There are so many arguments in so many different directions that I don't know what is best or right or responsible. But after a few months of having God tugging at my heart last year, I began to give to 3 women who I pass every day on my walk to work: Juana, Glorietina, and Nadia.
In an attempt to set obvious boundaries, I decided to be as consistent as possible. Every Monday, I took them three items from the grocery store. I passed them off to them, smiled as they responded with the dutiful "Que Dios te bendiga" (God bless you), and I continued on my way. A few months into the process, I began to get requests: a whole chicken, diapers, baby formula.
It seemed odd to be fulfilling orders, but I was happy to be able to buy them something they really wanted or needed. And as expensive as diapers are, I know I did nothing special to be born into my middle class family that has more than enough money to take care of ourselves; why should this faultless baby go without diapers?
The months have passed and although we chit-chat once in a while, we haven't formed a real relationship. I don't really have anything to talk to them about, I think. We live in different worlds. I have a job and I'm busy with my own life... I don't have tons of time to be talking to people I don't know on the street.
And let me be honest... I think I am better than them.
I'm wrong.
When I really think about it, I know I'm wrong.
But that's the thought that goes through my mind.
Way too often.
I'm wrong.
When I really think about it, I know I'm wrong.
But that's the thought that goes through my mind.
Way too often.
This past Monday, when I passed off the bags, it didn't take them long to realize that this week I hadn't bought them each a chicken. No sooner did they have the groceries in their hands when Glorietina asked me why I had bought her lentils. I tried to explain that they were healthy and filling, but she just shook her head and asked for ground pork for the next week. I moved on to Nadia, who told me she would rather have a chicken for soup and then proceeded to point out that her friend sits on the opposite side of the street and would also appreciate some food. Then I gave the bag to Juana, who smiled and said, "Como tú lo ves" (How you see it).
As I walked away from the women, I began to think about the days when they were thankful for whatever I gave them. Beggars can't be choosers, right? Who are they to tell me that what I bought them wasn't good enough? I'm pretty health conscious and always tried to buy things that made some sort of meal... shouldn't they be thankful for that?
Now, you'll have to pardon my clearly imperfect analogy here, but I began thinking about how much I identify with their attitude. How often do I ask God for something and moments afterwards, turn around and ask for something more or different? When I have what I need, I ask for things for my friend or my family. I'm never satisfied and I complain if He doesn't give me exactly what I wanted. I'm no longer in awe of the fact that in a world with more than 6 billion people, there's a God who cares enough about me to listen to my prayer requests.
Furthermore, I realized that rarely do I say, "Como tú lo ves." I have a very clear idea of what I want and how and why and that is what is most important. I've forgotten Matthew 6:26, "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"
In the next few months, I am going to have to make some pretty big decisions about where I'm going to live, what school I am going to teach in, and how I am going to deal with the relational ties that are pulling me in every direction. I have a feeling that the next few months will be the perfect time for me to practice letting God give me whatever he sees fit. And when I do ask, I'll try to remember to first say thank you for all of the blessings that I have already been given.
Much love from Spain,
Amber
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