Snippets of life in Madrid

About two months later, I'm finally getting around to sharing this written but not posted blog entry about life in Madrid...

Vocabulary lesson

My 2° ESO (8th grade) students read Carl Sanburg's "Chicago" a few weeks ago. There were a lot of difficult words in the poem: hog, brawling, husky, freight, wanton, amid, crooked, etc. But for some reason, they all knew this one: WRECKING.

I came in like a wrecking ball...

I don't know whether to feel happy that my students learned a word from American pop-culture or to grimace at the fact that all of my 8th graders were well acquainted with the video of Miley Cyrus naked on a wrecking ball. The worst part is none of the teachers knew what they were referring to; they kept asking me to explain the pop-culture reference in front of the whole class.

Note to self, Amber: Try to stay in the loop as long as you can.

Winning the lottery over and over again

At mid-year seminar, I was talking to some of the grantees about our application essays and the moments we found out that we had been selected as Fulbright grantees. I recounted my glance at my e-mail while eating dinner at my Kraker kitchen table, not realizing that I was opening an e-mail that has marked my life forever.

Oddly enough, I was also in the kitchen (Perhaps I should hang out in my kitchen more often?) when my phone buzzed last April, notifying me that I had received the e-mail naming the Fulbright Renewals for 2013-2014. Once again, I opened an e-mail that meant a year of extraordinary experiences.

And then last week, at my dining room table, I received the next great news in my professional career: I was selected by the UNA-USA organization to serve as an Assistant Director in the Global Classrooms International Conference in New York City in May!

After dealing with the logistical headaches of expanding the Madrid program from 20 schools to 41 schools and spending hours preparing lessons and presentations and conference materials, I am going to get to see the full potential of the Global Classrooms program: 1,600 delegates from 22 countries, discussing serious world issues (in my room, Uses of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles (Drones)). No big deal. Just AWESOME.

I honestly feel like I am winning the lottery over and over again. And I am so incredibly thankful.

The Women

When I came to Madrid last year, the biggest change was not adapting to a different eating schedule or speaking Spanish all of the time or using public transportation. To be honest, the element of life that I struggled with more than anything else was how to respond to all of the people who are begging, all of the people who are homeless, all of the people who have found themselves in the middle of this crisis without jobs.

What is my responsibility as a fellow human being? What is my responsibility as the hands and feet of Christ?

And the crowds asked him, “What then shall we do?” And he answered them, "Whoever has two tunics is to share with him who has none, and whoever has food is to do likewise." 

- Luke 3:10-11

Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?

 - Matthew 25:34-40

Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor will himself call out and not be answered.

- Proverbs 21:13

It seems so clear. GIVE. But, but, but...

The city of Madrid isn't like Hope College's campus, where I greet people I don't know and people hold the door for me when I am so far away that I feel like I have to run to thank them for it. No, I don't smile at the people on the street or strike up conversation with the person next to me on the metro. I've gotten so used to being in my own little world that I brush past the old couples shuffling along, not thinking of them as persons, but instead as obstacles.

Living in a city, you begin to see so many people as non-persons that it becomes easy to ignore the people who are begging in the same way. I don't have to give them anything if I don't see them.

Furthermore, the brokenness of this world provides us with hundreds of reasons to justify our actions: They could spend it on drugs. They could get a job if they really wanted to. I don't want to make them dependent. I can't help everyone. I'm not swimming in money.

This is an issue that I'm not sure I will ever feel like I fully understand. There are so many arguments in so many different directions that I don't know what is best or right or responsible. But after a few months of having God tugging at my heart last year, I began to give to 3 women who I pass every day on my walk to work: Juana, Glorietina, and Nadia.

In an attempt to set obvious boundaries, I decided to be as consistent as possible. Every Monday, I took them three items from the grocery store. I passed them off to them, smiled as they responded with the dutiful "Que Dios te bendiga" (God bless you), and I continued on my way. A few months into the process, I began to get requests: a whole chicken, diapers, baby formula.

It seemed odd to be fulfilling orders, but I was happy to be able to buy them something they really wanted or needed. And as expensive as diapers are, I know I did nothing special to be born into my middle class family that has more than enough money to take care of ourselves; why should this faultless baby go without diapers?

The months have passed and although we chit-chat once in a while, we haven't formed a real relationship. I don't really have anything to talk to them about, I think. We live in different worlds. I have a job and I'm busy with my own life... I don't have tons of time to be talking to people I don't know on the street. 

And let me be honest... I think I am better than them.
I'm wrong.
When I really think about it, I know I'm wrong.
But that's the thought that goes through my mind.
Way too often.

This past Monday, when I passed off the bags, it didn't take them long to realize that this week I hadn't bought them each a chicken. No sooner did they have the groceries in their hands when Glorietina asked me why I had bought her lentils. I tried to explain that they were healthy and filling, but she just shook her head and asked for ground pork for the next week. I moved on to Nadia, who told me she would rather have a chicken for soup and then proceeded to point out that her friend sits on the opposite side of the street and would also appreciate some food. Then I gave the bag to Juana, who smiled and said, "Como tú lo ves" (How you see it).

As I walked away from the women, I began to think about the days when they were thankful for whatever I gave them. Beggars can't be choosers, right? Who are they to tell me that what I bought them wasn't good enough? I'm pretty health conscious and always tried to buy things that made some sort of meal... shouldn't they be thankful for that?

Now, you'll have to pardon my clearly imperfect analogy here, but I began thinking about how much I identify with their attitude. How often do I ask God for something and moments afterwards, turn around and ask for something more or different? When I have what I need, I ask for things for my friend or my family. I'm never satisfied and I complain if He doesn't give me exactly what I wanted. I'm no longer in awe of the fact that in a world with more than 6 billion people, there's a God who cares enough about me to listen to my prayer requests.

Furthermore, I realized that rarely do I say, "Como tú lo ves." I have a very clear idea of what I want and how and why and that is what is most important. I've forgotten Matthew 6:26, "Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?"

In the next few months, I am going to have to make some pretty big decisions about where I'm going to live, what school I am going to teach in, and how I am going to deal with the relational ties that are pulling me in every direction. I have a feeling that the next few months will be the perfect time for me to practice letting God give me whatever he sees fit. And when I do ask, I'll try to remember to first say thank you for all of the blessings that I have already been given.

Much love from Spain,
Amber

Thank you, J. William Fulbright.

"The essence of intercultural education is the acquisition of empathy--the ability to see the world as others see it, and to allow the possibility that others may see something we have failed to see, or may see it more accurately. The simple purpose of the exchange program... is to erode the culturally rooted mistrust that sets nations against one another. The exchange program is not a panacea but an avenue of hope...."

- J. William Fulbright

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When I graduated from Hope College in 2012, I didn't wear a single tassel or sash to distinguish my achievements. Every single senior walked across the stage with the same navy gown, navy mortar board, and orange '12 tassel. And while I was initially incredibly disappointed that my four years of academic persistence wouldn't be recognized on graduation day, I begrudgingly acknowledged that there was good reasoning behind it. On graduation day at Hope, we weren't celebrating the achievements that any one single student accomplished. Instead we were joyful in the success of our campus community and we acknowledged through our uniformity that we had done it together. Our parents, classmates, professors, friends, siblings, and community members had played vital roles in our successes in college. We were there not because of ourselves, but because of those who had helped us along the way.

As my Fulbright experience is coming to a seemingly rapid conclusion, I have to admit that I didn't get here alone. Besides all of the people who I acknowledged on graduation day, I have to note that my experiences here have only been possible because of the vision of Senator J. William Fulbright and the work of the Fulbright Commission in Spain. I am so thankful that a U.S. Senator realized that "to continue to build more weapons, especially more exotic and unpredictable machines of war, will not build trust and confidence." Instead, he focused on intellectual exchange as a way "to convert nations into peoples and translate ideologies into human aspirations." Thank you, J. William Fulbright for focusing on other countries not as stereotypes or enemies or means to benefit the U.S. government, but as people. Thank you for setting up the framework that allows an average girl from central PA to engage in so many diverse intercultural experiences.

Yes, I know, this is a lot of mushy-gushy Fulbright love. But the reason for it is simple... a few weeks ago, I was surrounded by incredible Fulbrighters from all over the European Union at the 60th annual Fulbright Berlin Seminar. And it was a downright amazing experience.

We put the Fulbright Berlin Seminar in context...

At the opening ceremony, the head of the Fulbright Kommission reminded us of the status of Berlin 60 years ago. In 1954, Fulbrighters struggled to get into Berlin, not having the ease of EasyJet to get into the country. Fulbrighters were only able to get into the country by train, having to travel through the Eastern Bloc and go through various checkpoints due to the Berlin Wall.

Grantees in the 1960s weren't gallivanting around the Shengen zone, enjoying their puentes in various European countries. Their cultural exchange was taxing and difficult and sometimes unsafe. And I have to acknowledge that it is still like that for many Fulbright grantees. Not everyone is having the time of their lives... there are a lot of grantees who have been assigned to small towns in countries with rare languages, where they are confronted with daily challenges that I may not face even on the worst of days. We are all learning a lot, but for some, it's not a walk in Retiro park.

We learned a bit of German...

Since Lauren and I both looked more-or-less German, we were normally spoken to in German by waitstaff and store clerks. And although it was nice to feel like we fit in, we had no idea what they were saying to us. Apparently our confusion didn't read clearly enough on our faces though, because in the bar across the street from our apartment, the woman spoke to us for 90 seconds straight in German, explaining that they were going to have a birthday party and the tables were reserved, before we finally squeaked out, "English?" in a nervous and apologetic tone. She stared at us and said, "OHH! You don't speak German, do you...?"

Thankfully, throughout the week we learned the normal social greetings: hallo (hello), tschüss (bye), bitte (please), danke (thank you), etc. This allowed us to attempt a bit of German with the locals and hint to them (through our terrible pronunciation), that we were trying but were definitely not proficient in the German language. Nevertheless, we gave it our best shot, and would often attempt to translate advertisements and decipher menus. Thus, we learned a few more vocabulary words...

• Ausgang: exit
• Amber: "Is this the right exit to get to our street?"
• Friend: "Yep, we exit to Ausgang... I remember."
• Amber: "Umm, I'm about 99% positive that ausgang means exit... it's on every exit."
• Kuchen und Kaffee: Cake and coffee
• Both of these mandated consumption in Berlin...
• Hausgemachte: homemade
• Because everything is better when it is homemade
• Fass: On-tap (beer)
• Germany has a very intense beer culture (as you hopefully all knew), so most bars offered a wide variety of bottled beers in addition to the ones on tap. To differentiate between our ordering options, we learned that fass referred to our on-tap options.
• Frei: free
• This was important to know so that we avoided buying sugar-free Haribo gummy bears or ordering alcohol-free beer....

And, of course, we did some sight seeing...

Lauren and I used our free time to check out some of the tourist attractions in Berlin, including: the Pergamon (not pictured, but AWESOME) and...

Part of the Berlin Wall outside of the Topography of Terror Museum 

The Brandenburg Gate at night 

Part of the East Side Gallery 

The Berlin Cathedral 

Inside the cathedral 

At the top of the cathedral... with the TV Tower in the background

In our tours around Berlin, we also learned a few interesting tidbits of information:

• The blue and pink pipes that are all over the city (which Ali, Mom, and I thought served as some sort of modern representation of where the wall had been) are used to transport beer and whisky from breweries to restaurants. NOT. That was our tour guide's first and only joke. Actually they are for water and sewage when construction is in progress... they put them underground later on.
• More people died at the Palace of Tears (the border crossing between East and West Berlin where many people shed tears as they said goodbye to their family members), 200, than at the Berlin wall, 136. This was due to the terrible conditions and long waits at the checkpoints.
• There were a number of East Germans that were allowed to leave East Germany. They included:
• Pensioners: The East German government secretly hoped they would stay in West Germany since they were costing them money and weren't useful to them.
• Athletes: As today, athletic success was used in hopes of showing off the country's success.
• Musicians and diplomats
• One of the ways the government checked to see if you were assuming someone else's identity was by looking at your ear. Apparently there are 16 points on the ear that you can compare to verify identity. Maybe I can use that to differentiate between the twins in my 2° ESO English class...
• The term "protective custody" was used as an "instrument of terror" by the Nazi government to claim that they were protecting the Jews by putting them in concentration camps. The Nazi government said the Jews were at risk of being harmed by other community members and thus were doing them a favor.

I had some memorable interactions with other Fulbrighters...

• Lauren and I became some German Fulbrighters' token Americans on their last night at the conference. We learned all about their home beers (including how to make the foil cap of one of the bottles into a flower) and forced them into practicing their English before they head off to the U.S.A. for their grants!
• At breakfast one morning, I offered to get a coffee for one of the Germans at my table. After confirming that he wanted a "normal coffee", it dawned on me that I had no idea what the "normal" way to drink coffee in Germany was. I got two different versions, one American-style normal (americano) and one Spanish-style normal (café con leche) and let him choose his poison. He choose the café con leche, which I secretly wanted, but willingly gave up as penance for my ignorance. 
• One of the German grantees and I had a nice laugh over one of the speaker's title: Ambassador and Deputy Director-General, International Academic and Educational Relations and Dialogue among Civilizations, Federal Foreign Office, Germany Vice Chair, Binational Board of the German-American Fulbright Commission. I'm personally quite happy I don't have to list that on my resume. It would take up way too much space.

I enjoyed the variety of sessions...

• At the Opening Ceremony, I let my jaw drop watching a Fulbright play a number of pieces on the marimba (including this one... but better). I'm pretty sure the marimba became one of my favorite instruments after that...
• I attended a "One Continent... Many Visions" session about gender equality and was surprised at just how many Fulbrighters disagreed with the idea that Europe is the world's model for gender equality. One Fulbrighter had to leave her engineering research project because her male boss didn't trust her to use power tools (which was an everyday necessity for her work). Another explained the stark contrast between a teacher at her school who had taken his wife's last name but regularly made sexist comments about her inability to take control over the class because she was a female.
• The project presentations blew me away. In a matter of a few hours I listened to a food anthropologist who is studying slow food in Turkey (He has a blog!), a researcher who is traveling from farm to farm in Sweden (SO JEALOUS... maybe I'll look into that in the future...),  and a Slovenia ETA who spends her free time studying advertisement strategies in the Soviet Union. Why are all these people SO interesting?!
• During the European Dimensions Panel, I completely related to the Fulbright living in Italy who had 5+ slides showing just a few of the gestures her Italian roommate uses on a regular basis. It was nice to hear that someone else had some struggles early on trying to figure how what the locals were saying with their hands...
• We had an English Teaching Assistant session, where I found out that Spain is the most organized program, thanks to the concentration of grantees in the same kind of school (bilingual high schools) and only two cities. Also everyone was jealous of our Global Classrooms program... by the time we left, the Germans were all eager to recommend that their commission integrate it into the grant. ¡Tomaaaaaaaa!

And, last but not least, I ate... (TYPICAL.)

Mandatory sausage, sauerkraut, and potatoes meal

Repeat of the delicious apple strudel that Mom, Ali, and I had when we were in Berlin over the summer!

Kuchen und Kaffee... heavy on the kunchen :)

(FREE!) Breakfast at the bar across the street from our apartment

A month later, I look back on this experience and am baffled that this was just one of so many incredible opportunities that has been afforded to me. Thank you J. William Fulbright, the Spanish Fulbright Commission, and all of you U.S. taxpayers who just helped fund a program that aims "to bring a little more knowledge, a little more reason, and a little more compassion into world affairs and thereby to increase the chance that nations will learn at last to live in peace and friendship."

Much love from Spain,
Amber

P.S. A shameless plug... Save Fulbright!
P.P.S. The number of J. William Fulbright quotes in this post are proportional to the number of J. William Fulbright quotes that I heard throughout the duration of the conference... :)